Geo Humor

Q. What kind of sunglasses do physical relief maps wear?
A. Hypsometric tints.

Q. Why couldn't Mark McGwire reach first after hitting his 62nd home run?
A. He didn't have a base map.

Q. What do you call a map of outhouses in the woods?
A. A shaded relief map.

Q. How can you tell if a map was made by a troll?
A. It is in the gnome-onic (gnomonic) projection.

Q. What kind of maps do spiders make?
A. Web-based maps.

Q. A Mercator, Lambert Conformal, and Homolosine projection met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. Only the Homolsine Projection went on to heaven. Why?
A. It was the only Good(e) projection.

Q. What do you call a map guide to Alcatraz?
A. A con-tour map.

Q. What is the tidiest element on a map?
A. The neatline.

Q. What do John Wayne and a map key have in common?
A. Both are legends.

Q. Why was longitude boiling mad?
A. Because it was 360 degrees.

Q. Why are maps like fish?
A. Both have scales.

Q. What kind of projection do 3 out of 4 ear, nose, and throat specialists prefer?
A. A sinus-oidal map projection.

Q. Why didn’t true north date magnetic north?
A. She didn’t like his bearing.

Q. What do a row of Bacardi bottles and a loxodrome have in common?
A. Both are rum (rhumb) lines.

Q. Why did the equator win the MVP (most valuable parallel) award at the Latitude Super Bowl?
A. Because it was a great circle.

Q. What did the mapmaker send his sweetheart on Valentine’s Day?
A. A dozen compass roses.

Q. Why weren’t there any parallels on the map?
A. Because the cartographer didn’t have any latitude in his map design.

Q. What do you call a USGS quadrangle with green water, blue forests, and all the names spelled backwards?
A. A topo-illogical map.

source: about geography